I relate very much to this - I was always very good at reading/writing and very bad at "maths" (USA we call it math) - For me yes it is partly a processing issue and partly psychological - Whenever I come across a simple math task -then and now - I'm faced with my "stupidity" and I freeze. Perhaps to you, math represents (=) your mother and you must escape it at all costs. Again, I'm sorry because I do understand your feelings of anxiety and powerlessness - math is very triggering.